by Arch Lustberg

Conversation is the root of all oral communications. The goal of communications is to implant in my mind what's in your mind. And that is done best when you talk to me. The burden of the effort is on the communicator. Don't ever forget that. Moving your mouth and saying words in a common language isn't enough. The one who appears to be reasonable, sensible, trying to be reassuring usually wins. Let it be you.

Remember your goal is to be liked. You want to win over the other people in your audience. Think of Mike Wallace from "60 Minutes."

When the person he’s interviewing looks shady, evasive, unlikable, you root for Wallace. You want him to burst that awful person's balloon. When the person he’s interviewing looks pleasant, likeable and in control, you tend to wonder why he's so rotten to that nice person.

Use my techniques to make yourself that likeable person everyone is rooting for. And, remember, practice makes perfect.

Practice with your colleagues, your family, your neighbors and your coworkers. See how warmly people react to the smile, the open face, the gesture and eye contact. Put these new skills to work the next time you meet a stranger. Open your face, smile and say (don't shout) "Good morning!" You'll probably make that stranger's day. You'll probably get such a pleasant response, you'll make your own day too.

When you're called upon to speak to the media or before an audience, make it a point to be the same human being you are when you talk to your neighbors and friends. Don't be surprised when you're met with equal warmth and enthusiasm.

Points to Remember

• Know in advance exactly what you can and cannot say about the organization you represent.
• Develop a positive attitude and frame of mind. Maintain it no matter what.
• Eliminate negative buzz words.
• Pause, don't talk until your mind is working.
• Maintain a sense of rapport with the person with whom you're talking.
• Make your points in terms that are meaningful.
• Relax. Breathe normally.
• Keep it short and simple.

• Don't close your brow in an effort to look professional. Instead, raise your brow to project a warm, welcoming person.
• Smile at every appropriate opportunity.

• Stand comfortably, but erect.
• If you're seated, keep your back straight and lean forward awayfrom the back of the chair.
• Force yourself to use gestures but only when they look natural.

• Make your tone warm by opening up your face and using gestures.
• Use pitch and rate conversationally.
• Use only enough volume to be heard.

Not many years ago, few people were likely to be interviewed by the media. Times have changed. With more and more cable stations, "news" magazine shows, radio talk shows and trade professional journals, we've all become fair game.

Most people have a natural fear of the unknown when it comes to media interviews. Training will help you become more comfortable with the role of interviewee. But for now let's go over some basics: First, remember that the interviewer is a conduit, a way to reach your audience (the viewers, listeners or readers.) Most journalists are decent, honorable people. They want you to do well. Some "tabloid" reporters may not, but don't let them bait you into a fight. Use them to reach your audience. You'll reach your audience if you're likeable. We listen to people we like. We want to believe people we like. But it's hard to like someone who frowns and snaps at a reporter, even in response to an attack. Once you reach your audience, through being likeable, you want to project competence. It doesn't matter how brilliant you are if your audience doesn't perceive you that way. So let's look at some Dos and Don'ts that will help your audience like you and trust your information. Your goal is to be so good and interesting that they'll put your interview on the air or write a glowing article. Next best is to be so good that they decide not to use the interview. The damaging scenario is that you're terrible and you show it. That won't happen if you follow these Dos and Don'ts.

Lustberg Says do

• Prepare, practice, rehearse
• Dress appropriately: long-sleeved shirts and over- the-calf socks for men; clothes that cover cleavage, upper arms and thighs for women
• Accept an offer of make-up at the studio
• Breathe deeply, rhythmically, from the diaphragm
• Open your face: raise your eyebrows to create horizontal lines in your brow
• Let hands fall loosely at your sides
• Smile when appropriate
• Sit correctly: erect, leaning slightly forward, knees together
• Gesture when appropriate
• Be honest: admit it when you don't know the answer; admit it if an obvious problem exists
• Pause: think, maintain eye contact, remain silent (except on radio and telephone).
• Be positive: say what you DO, not what you don't do
• Be proud of yourself and your organization
• Be understandable: simple, brief, clear, concise
• Be quotable and memorable: tell stories, use examples
• Look at the person who's speaking
• Look at the person whose question you're answering
• Vary the pitch and rate of your speech
• Stop talking when you've answered the question
• Be informative, educate ñ that's why you're there!

• Wing it.
• Wear or do anything that calls attention to itself and away from your message.
• Allow yourself to be placed with the sun in your eyes.
• Frown or close your face.
• Maintain a neutral, expressionless face.
• Lock yourself into positions like the fig leaf (hands grasped together in front of mid-section) hands crossed over chest or hands thrust into pockets.
• Slouch, fidget or swivel in your chair.
• Repeat negatives, tell us what you don't do or make denials (I am not a crook).
• Lose your cool or get angry.
• Say “no comment.” If you can't comment, explain why.
• Be pompous by trying to look professional or using jargon or “scholarly” words and language.
• Keep talking just because the microphone is still in your face.
• Talk to the camera unless you're instructed.
• Look at the TV monitor.
• Be shocked. Expect loaded questions and rigged statements.
• Shout, or even speak loudly (let the microphone do its job).
• Speak in a monotone.
• Say it (even "off the record") if you don't want it printed or broadcast.